Thank god she'd learnt how to walk out the door.
Not cos she was escaping or running away from anything. Just cos she knew how crazy it was to be cooped up inside four walls all day long.
And all night.
It's night time now as she's walking.
She had to leave him to himself and his thoughts...if he was having any, that is.
Had a moment of being lost today and experiencing something different and now, she's sure he's coping with it by plunging himself into the piles of work he says he must finish for tomorrow.
Funny, strange man he is.
She looks up at the stars. This clear, half moon night.
Soon it will be full. She can feel the anticipation in her - slight flutterings in her belly soon to become torrents of energy, beauty and visions as she transforms with the full moon waxing.
So blessed she feels to be able to feel this.
A world inside her that's intimately connected to the planet she is on.
So happy she feels to be a woman who walks the earth....goes where she wants, when she wants, guided softly by her senses.
She wishes her husband could feel this too.
Often she's lamented:
Just come out with me! It's a beautiful day. Sun's shining. Clear sky. And a breeze so gentle, yet fresh enough to make you feel cooler.
Come on, dear. Take a break. Come outside with me and walk. You've been stuck in your office for hours.....
You gotta be joking...
His bum's stuck to the chair
Eyes glued to the screen
Ear taped to the phone
Senses lost in his mind of what's gotta happen next.....
She gave up years ago.
That's why that moment he had 'in the wild,' as he called it, made her feel so excited!
Could it be that he potentially felt something other than what he is used to?
Could it be that somewhere deep inside his soul he had a taste of what else exists outside what he knows?
Little bubbles of joy stream through her body at the thought.
She's learnt, however, not to push anything beyond what's happening right now, so she tells those bubbles to settle...
Thoughts, ideas hopes, dreams....they'll become what they will when they do..
She's learnt to be patient with her man, so she'll not engage with him any further about his experience
He got lost. Then got found.
And that's that in his mind.
But in her mind, she knows there's now a memory stored inside him.
No pathways to follow...
Insecurity. Fear. Anger.
And then relief as he got back to his world again...car, home, work.
She'll help him recall that memory one day...when the time is right....
She turns a corner.
No reason why she turns that particular one, it's just where her feet choose to take her.
See, this woman, has learnt, after years of walking everywhere how not to think when walking.
Whilst her husband is sitting and working all day, she's outside walking and feeling her way...
Keeps the fine balance
Someone has to do it.
And she decided years ago that's all there was left to do....
(continued next post ...)